I saw this blog post from a young girl who is Indian, adopted by a white family (I believe she is 17): Is it Weird Being Indian in a White Family?
When LoveGenerously was posting, we used to have more discussions on adoption of children who are a different race, and the issues that arise in that situation. I definitely recommend checking out LG’s archive of posts for a mother’s perspective (she and her husband are white, kids are adopted from Guatemala).
I really enjoyed reading about feelings from the adopted child’s perspective. Shweta’s post was insightful, funny, and heartfelt. And I wanted to give her a big hug – and as a mom I wanted to shake the stuffins out of the smarmy teenagers who made fun of her.
And I want to thank Shweta for writing that post. Being that honest, especially about your own family, is brave. And she gave me things to think about and watch out for when raising my own daughter.
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Update: I read her post last night, and since then she edited it considerably. It was much longer and had other information that I refer to above, but is no longer there. I hope she changes it back to the way it was. But it’s very hard to put yourself out there like that, so I understand.
Yeah, it seems a bit chopped up. Too bad she edited it! Hopefully she’ll post again.
By: evenshine on December 8, 2008
at 9:18 pm
hey, I’m the girl’s whose blog you read. Thank you for what you wrote. I edited it a bit becuase i wanted to use what i took out in another blog, but i think i’ll change it back to the way it was seeing as it got a better reaction.
By: Shweta on December 9, 2008
at 8:14 pm
Hi Shweta – if you end up using it in another blog post, let me know and I’ll link to the new one. Either way, keep it up – very worthwhile reading.
Btw – the hair part really made me laugh. There’s something about that on badindiangirl (see my blog roll) that’s really funny, but I don’t remember which part. I’m wondering at what age my daughter is going to come home from school and demand that I take her to get her upper lip waxed. LOL
By: colorblindcupid on December 10, 2008
at 12:05 am
lmao. it will happen, trust me. and I just added what i took out to the same blog, so you don’t have to relink. I think it’s almost the same.
By: Shweta on December 11, 2008
at 5:17 am
The poor thing also got her daddy’s eyebrows, which on a 4-year-old are perfectly fine. But she’s not going to be happy with that either when she’s older. And she can’t just bleach it like some white people do because that will look worse! I’m think Jr. High is when this is all going to hit.
By: colorblindcupid on December 11, 2008
at 3:54 pm
lol, it wasn’t my major deterrent, socially, but definitely get right on the waxing with her when she comes home saying someone called her a monkey, or something. actaully, lol i don’t wax, nair is an effective product, but lol she’s four, so in 10 years you’ll have to look back to this post…also my mom is white and once suggested bleaching, all I said was, “really, seriously…really!??”
By: Shweta on December 11, 2008
at 11:54 pm
“my mom is white and once suggested bleaching”
That’s too funny! I think moms don’t want their little girls to grow up and Nair and waxing is all too much. My mom wanted me to bleach mine, too, which probably would have been fine on me since I’m so pasty white to begin with, but I was hell bent on using Nair. I burnt my skin so bad, so I had no hair, but I looked like a clown because I had a bright red mustache-looking patch above my lip AND a triangle red patch between my eyebrows – they lasted for days. I never mastered the Nair and tweezers became my best friend. And my mom wouldn’t let me shave my legs until I was in high school (I never really understood why), so gym class was horrible. All the girls shaved and I felt so hairy. I’m just not going to do that to my daughter. Been there, done that, and she’s going to have more hair issues than me so I don’t want her to have to deal with that in addition to the regular teenage strife.
Btw, my husband’s pictures from when he was 9 or 10 are cute. Cute now, but he didn’t think it was so funny then. He looked like a man, but in a little kid’s body. He had SO much hair and he already had a mustache!
By: colorblindcupid on December 12, 2008
at 1:43 am
Lol, i singed my skin the first few times before i mastered nair, but wasn’t too noticeable, so I lived. I think parent’s are so anti-hair removal b/c then it means something sexy’s going to happen, to me it just means people won’t point and go, “haha it’s a girl with a mustache” plain and simple…i commend you on being proactive on the hairy situation. So your husband is indian, and your daughter is mixed, or adopted?
By: Shweta on December 12, 2008
at 4:37 am
My daughter is mixed. I’m white and my husband is South Indian. She looks mixed, but leaning much more to the Indian side. I think she looks mixed when she’s with just me. If my husband is with her, then she pretty much looks like a pretty little miniature version of him, with paler skin.
I have people ask if she’s adopted though (strangers) because she really doesn’t look like me at all.
By: colorblindcupid on December 12, 2008
at 2:55 pm
oh ok, i wasn’t sure becuase you linked my post on adoption, which could also be applied to just being different, so now i understand why. That’s really cool, every time I see an interracial couple, i wanna go hug them and be like, “yay” I bet she looks like you, just not as pale, you’ll see it more probably when she’s older, and starts nairing, and getting more girly.
By: Shweta on December 12, 2008
at 8:14 pm
Lol, I guess it just depends on the luck of the draw. I went to high school for an entire year with this kid who was half Indian, half white and didn’t know he was half Indian. He popped out fair skinned like his mom and his brother popped out dark like the father. I remember once reading in this blog http://rancidraves.blogspot.com/ how the father is asked every so often if the children are adopted because they popped out fair like the mother instead of dark like the father.
By: rabbit on December 17, 2008
at 3:20 am
Luck of the draw sounds like it’s a bad thing to be dark…it only bugs me when the perception of others on me is skewed, but being darker or lighter doesn’t have any status rank mind. Reiterating myself from ages of my posts, I am adamantly against the caste system, and don’t hold any stock in it’s beliefs at all.
By: Shweta on December 21, 2008
at 4:33 am