Last week, DD had a very funny conversation with Saresh and MIL at MIL’s house. It went something like this:
DD: Daddy, why do you call Amma, “Mom”? (She knows MIL is his mother, so they were confused at first by this question).
S: Because she’s my mom.
DD: No. She can’t be your mom.
S: Why?
DD: Because she’s Indian.
S: (laughing) I’m Indian, too, sweetie.
DD: (a bit puzzled) Oh.
We’ve discussed many times with her how Saresh is Indian. I’ve heard her say it, so I thought it had sunk in. But later at home, Saresh is relaying this story to me and I was curious as to why she apparently thought he was not Indian:
CBC: If you didn’t think Daddy was Indian, what did you think he was?
DD: Well… I thought he was German. (Mind you, she doesn’t fully understand what “German” is.)
CBC and Saresh (trying hard not to laugh): And what are you?
DD: I’m German, too. We’re all German.
It’s interesting to me that she’s trying to reconcile why Saresh seems SO different from his parents. I had not anticipated her thoughts in this way, taking for granted that she’d just take our word for it that they’re his parents. I can imagine the confusion that must cause her (Daddy looks different, talks different, eats different, etc.), and I’m glad I’m aware now, because I imagine questions will continue to come up for her. I want her to feel comfortable asking us these things.
This time we had to explain to her again that Daddy was Indian and that’s she’s half of Daddy and half of me. We’ve never told her I was white, and I realized she still doesn’t get the idea of race – just culture and languages, to an extent. Saresh is always saying stuff jokingly about me being German and she must have picked up on it. I’m still not going to try to explain about race yet either. I swear if I told her I was “white” she’d just say, “No you’re not. Your kind of peach colored.” She still just thinks people look different colors because that’s the way it’s supposed to be – everybody’s supposed to be different looking. She doesn’t care about that. And I’m not telling her otherwise because that’s the way it should be. She makes me wonder what would happen in the world if parents never said a word about race to their children.
ah! I bet she means “we’re all American” or something. Because you and Saresh are more alike in the way you dress, etc? She may not get the German thing – have you showed her Germany on a map yet?
I think if we don’t talk about it with them, they assume we are all the same. I know this only because my mom never talked to me about race – EVER – I only knew that my mom’s family came from Norway. But that’s not the same as talking about “black vs.brown vs. white” – which IMO is kind of dumb anyway. So I asked my black friend if she was “Norwegian too” one time.. lol
By: chineseambassador on December 2, 2008
at 3:00 pm
My kids always thought they were from Nebraska even though they were born at the hospital less than a mile from where we live. I didn’t really realize they thought that for a long time, probably until they were in elementary school!
I started a response to your German post, but here’s something funny my mom said once….she went with us to France and I asked her if she wanted to go to Germany next. She said, “why would I want to go to Germany, I grew up in Germany!” All the towns in my area of Nebraska have two Lutheran churches (one in town, one in the country) and boys who look like Boris Becker. The cemetary at my mom’s church in the country has old gravestones that say “mater” and “pater” and she remembers when they had church once a month in German….but she doesn’t speak a word of it. Kind of weird how it just went away, so that’s why I have never insisted my kids learn since “we’re going to be a bilingual country someday”. Seriously, I don’t think so…so they speak French in case they want to go to that big country right on top of us.
By: Mom on the Run on December 2, 2008
at 4:54 pm
I’ve been meaning to ask you MOTR – how’s the house stuff going? I was looking at more real estate in your area in case we move there and I stumbled on your listings. That brick oven thing – is that in the kitchen? Cuz I can’t tell – is it an oven or a fireplace? lol I just remembered I can email you.
By: chineseambassador on December 2, 2008
at 4:59 pm
You wanna buy my house? I give you good deal.
Right now everything seems to be frozen–we’ve had lookers who loved the house but had the problem of having a house to sell, too. We just need one person who doesn’t have a house to start the domino effect and we’re set. I am ready.
Are you talking about the brick thing in my house? It’s just a decorative area that the particular builder who did our house was into back in the 1960s–but I love it. One of our neighbors has it too.
By: Mom on the Run on December 2, 2008
at 7:35 pm
well just between you and me (and I guess the whole blog world but whatev) –
I was talking to someone on another forum who does real estate futures. He told me if we could hang on until next summer, things should be better by then. At least easier to sell. But that doesn’t really help since you’re trying to sell now. eh.
we’re still waiting for the right job to fall from the sky. I’m sure it won’t be long now. :/
By: chineseambassador on December 2, 2008
at 7:42 pm
I just realized you were probably asking about the fireplace in the sunroom. The sunroom used to be outside, we think. (Old houses = archeological dig).
DOTR’s friend said that Lockheed is going to need lots of people soon because they have so many about to retire. Fingers crossed.
By: Mom on the Run on December 3, 2008
at 5:37 pm
Yeah, I agree she likely meant “American” or was expressing that the three of you are more or less alike(and you said you are German) in language/accent, food and clothing and she can note a difference at her grandmothers house, so “that” difference is why(in her mind) “they” are Indian.
Cute to see how little ones think.
My friends daughter recently made a correlation between tears coming from your eyes and a printer expelling papers. She’s 3. Too funny!
By: Mirchi on December 3, 2008
at 7:28 pm