Middle Chen has a temper problem, mostly because he just turned three. He’s still in that unattractive phase of life where the universe revolves around him, and nobody better hinder his desires unless they want to face his anger. (Yeah…we all know people who never got past that phase. sigh.)

This obviously does not go over well with me. My parenting style is pretty independent - I let my kids have their space, and do what they want (within my boundaries). But I don’t put up with sass, physical fighting, or anything else I wouldn’t want broadcast on the 6:00 news. I’m pretty autocratic in that respect.

Middle Chen and I have been doing the ‘clash of wills’ thing for the past year or so. He knows by now that if he hits someone he’ll be sorry. So now, when he gets angry (which is about 10 times a day still), he will freeze himself into a pose that clearly broadcasts his feelings.

Sometimes he will cock his fist back in the air and just hold it there, with his eyebrows lowered in that “pirate” face of his. He’ll never throw the punch - he knows better. But it’s his way of SHOWING me what he’s feeling. Another fun stance is where he makes two fists, hold them against his face, and growls. Yet another involves him doing a World Wide Wrestling pose, flexing his puny muscles and giving me the John Wayne stance. Usually if I say “Stop being angry”, he’ll stop. It’s hilarious. He just gets into a pose, holds it like he’s doing yoga for a few seconds, and then he gets over it.

I went into the church nursery last week, and he was standing behind a little girl, holding his fist back in that pose. I could tell the girl had done something to make him angry, and he was giving her his best pose - but she had her back to him, completely oblivious! I think I was the only one who saw him do that. I got his attention, and said “stop”. He stopped. I realized that if a stranger saw him standing there like that, they might think he was really going to hit her!

The only reason I’m not seriously worried that the kid is going to be a serial killer is that his personality is normally very laid-back and sweet. He only started with the temper tantrums when he turned 2 (naturally), and they are already throttling back since he turned 3 this spring. We’ve been working on getting our temper under control and not lashing out at people. This means he has learned how to tattle on his playmate, rather than throw a punch. Progress.

It’s gotten to the point where Ang said he has his own version of Tai Chi - “Angry” Tai Chi.

Now Ang comes home from work and asks MC if he’s been practicing his Angry Tai Chi that day. MC doesn’t get the joke of course, but we think it’s hilarious.

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