This is convoluted, so bear with me -
I got quite a few referred hits this week from a U.K. web site called Pickled Politics. Someone put a link to us in the comments, but I got sucked into the article, which required backtracking to figure it all out. I don’t know who all the involved writers are, as I’m ensconced here in the U.S. Midwest, but it all made for fascinating reading while I procrastinate on working!
Apparently, a writer named Ruth Fowler wrote an article on why she likes to date Asian men. I kind of thought the article was all over the place and not necessarily about that, but more of an outlet for how a serious relationship with a Gujarati man went sour because he kept her a secret from his parents (and other sundry insults to her). Or perhaps she had a bad case of white guilt – I couldn’t figure her or the article out.
So then, a writer named Rupa Huq seemed to take offense to the Fowler article, with the requisite, “She made sweeping generalizations about Asians!” blah, blah, blah. The Huq article was better written, IMO, but she definitely got her panties in a wad over something I thought was supposed to be more lighthearted, and a personal experience at that. I didn’t think the Fowler article was offensive. And you know how I’m the ruling authority on sweeping generalizations, so that probably explains why I didn’t think it was offensive.
Here’s where Pickled Politics comes in. Sunny at PP wrote another article in response to these two, entilted, “Why do Asian girls go out with black guys?” I liked Sunny’s article the best (probably because she sounds more like what I’d say, and well, I like me). That’s where the link came in.
At any rate, I thought all three articles were worth a read, especially for a U.K. view of the interracial dating and marriage scene. I’m posting the links to all three here in chronological reading order, so you don’t have to backtrack like I did. Take the rest of the week – you’ll need it (and I really have to work now for a few days straight!):
Ruth Fowler: United Colours
Rupa Huq: Mixed Blessings
Pickled Politics: Why do Asian Girls go out with Black Guys? by Sunny
GROAN. More people getting their panties in a wad. It never ends.
By: chineseambassador on May 8, 2008
at 4:00 pm
Oh man, okay, I am going to put this up, but no one please take any offense..it’s just because they said panties in a wad.
Growing up, my mom would say she had on Indian underwear. If you asked why, her reply would be because they sneaked right up your rear. Now this Indian she was referring to was Native Americans and how they used to sneak up and ambush other Native American tribes. So she would say that in place of panties in a wad or wedgie.. sorry guys hehehe
By: ara0062 on May 8, 2008
at 4:10 pm
could you please stop being such a racist, Ara?
(KIDDING)
…..
By: chineseambassador on May 8, 2008
at 5:03 pm
oh right – about the articles. I read that one (”Why do Asian girls go out with Black guys?” ) and thought it was true. Of course, it annoys me that people even have to write these kinds of things. Like we are all so dumb and easily offended, that we have to jump through all kinds of PC hoops just to make a simple observation about interracial dating. Puh-LEEZE is right. One of my favorite parts was this:
“So if a white girl says that about a brown guy, its colonial… and if a brown boy says that about a white or black girl… does it became reverse-colonialism? C’mon now!”
So we have White Guilt (hereby known on this site as “The WG” ) here in the U.S. based on slavery, and in the UK they have exactly the same thing – based on the UK’s colonizing of India, right? Not that I don’t suffer from WG myself, as I am a good American and I do struggle with self-hatred, which is only right and natural. But I recognize the futility of it, and try to ignore it as much as possible.
By: chineseambassador on May 8, 2008
at 6:00 pm
Lol! CA just had me cracking up. “The WG” abbreviation and the last sentence are priceless.
What I find almost amusing is the way we take the stigma of “racism” that is more understandable and justified when you’re talking about blacks due the slavery issue and other ignominious wrongs they suffered, and act just as self-righteous about, “Omg, you’re generalizing about Asians!” Don’t get me wrong, all racism is wrong, but it’s best stamped out by dialogue and discussion, not treating someone with some stereotypes or prejudice as evil. And given Asians are often just as, if not more, highly educated and financially stable than whites, it’s really hard to justify such extreme reactions. I think it’s just a knee jerk reaction people have without thinking about why that stigma exists and why it’s so horrifying when you think about someone being prejudiced and further disadvantaging a black person. By any logical argument, they certainly deserve more walking on eggshells than an advantaged group, but even then, I’m not sure angry responses and demonization of the other party is the best way to end prejudice and racism.
By: BerkeleyGradStudent on May 8, 2008
at 6:42 pm
LOL Ara!
I tell you what – I didn’t know I had white guilt until I started this blog. And then after about a year, I feel I’ve rid myself of the bulk of it.
I had to read this book in college – I can’t remember the title or the author because I hated it. It was a black author and the whole book was about how white people were basically the root of all evil. The professor assured us it was a classic and that he had great points. I have no idea what his point was because I was so irritated with being lumped in with the devil that I didn’t give a crap what his point was. That professor was odd though – it was supposed to be a world religion survey course, except we mostly talked about Catholicism (which she thought was THE religion as far as I could tell) and how white people were evil. It was one of the few courses I got a B in, which was a struggle at that – just can’t imagine why it didn’t enthuse me…
By: colorblindcupid on May 8, 2008
at 11:28 pm
I’m still laughing about the “Beneton coupling” in Fowler’s blog. Dear God…transported me back to the late 80’s, walking in the mall, giggling with my friends, and those posters everywhere. Anyway, I kind of like that label…might use it myself.
I can’t say that I suffer from WG either. In fact, I get my panties in a wad
whenever someone mentions about how mistreated they are and then they bring up slavery. My left eye starts to twitch, my blood pressure rises, I grit my teeth, and lower my voice to a whisper (only because I might wind up screaming if I don’t keep tight reign over my voice). Grrrrrrrrrrr………evil whiteys indeed. Honestly, how can people still try to play that card whether it be slavery or colonialism?
By: wurdygirl on May 9, 2008
at 12:31 am
I guess I should address something that came up in a conversation I had between myself and a guy from India. We were talking about different stuff, and he asked me if a Native American was someone who immigrated to North America first from Europe a couple of hundred years ago..as in like Christopher Columbus and beyond. Needless to say, I had to give a bit of a history lesson. So for those of you out there who don’t understand this term for no fault of your own, Native Americans…or American Indians, crossed via boats and the land bridge from Siberia through Alaska during the last ice age. They actually came from Asia, so when Christopher Columbus came to America (technically the West Indies), he thought he had actually reached INDIA. He was unaware that there was the North and South American continents blocking his way. The reason he thought this was because when he came across the native people, they were what he called copper skinned. They had anywhere from light to dark brown skin, dark brown to black hair, and brown to black eyes. They were not from Europe at all, but distant kin and descendants from Asians. That is why a lot of Native Americans when being compared, look a LOT like Native Siberians and other native Asians. So that is where the mistake of calling Native Americans “INDIANS” came from..
I just wanted to throw that out there to clear up some confusion.
)
By: ara0062 on May 9, 2008
at 4:38 am
oh – hey I just read the first article that started this whole thing. The part that seemed wrong to me was where the author said she lived in the US from 2004 to 2007, and didn’t meet any interracial couples. She draws the conclusion that we are much more racially segregated here.
Where the heck was she living? I just posted recently about sitting down at the playground with Ang, and realizing we were sitting next to 2 other interracial couples! Just tonight I was walking into the gorcery store and passed a young couple (he was black, she was white), and they were holding hands.
It seems like interracial couples are everywhere I look. Am I once again living in a bubble, and nobody else sees/experiences what I do?
By: chineseambassador on May 9, 2008
at 5:01 am
It’s not you – they’re everywhere. I recently went to a party and the majority of couples were interracial. One of the moms made a comment that in her playgroup, there’s only one “purebred” child. LOL
Like I said, I think that gal was a bit off, but from Sunny’s article, it seems that Fowler likes to stir the pot somewhat with her statements in order to get more readers, so maybe that’s it. Or maybe she lived in the far reaches of Wyoming or something. There were interracial couples back when I was in high school! I’ve actually known couples since I was a kid (not many then, but some and definitely all over now), and I lived in the rural midwest, so I think it’s just her.
By: colorblindcupid on May 9, 2008
at 3:39 pm
Love the post, we need more blogs like this.
By: Volumity on July 24, 2008
at 3:23 pm
I think it is interesting that all of a sudden, when going to certain websites such as facebook or myspace, I have been seeing advertisements that specifically promote “interracial singles dating.” They promote kinda like eharmony, etc, but specifically towards mixing it up. I thought that was really interesting.
As for me though, I am simply done with dating for now. Although I am of a mixed white/Native American/British ethnicity, I have lived here in the U.S. my whole life, and discovered that sometimes my family sounds more like a foreigner compared to other Americans than real immigrants do. And some immigrants/visitors turn out to be more the “typical American” than I could ever want them to be. But, life will go on
By: ara0062 on July 25, 2008
at 4:38 am