I was trying to find information on the history of interracial relationships – basically how they were looked upon throughout history, especially during times where different races didn’t have as much contact with each other. During this search, I came across this article on About.com (I love that site). I also read the link to the article regarding whether or not interracial marriage is prohibited in the Bible – the beginning of that article was of particular interest in discussing Darwin and the history of the term “race” and how scientifically speaking, it’s sort of a useless and irrelevant term. (The latter half is a debate that doesn’t refer to interracial relationships.)

Trying to put all that in context got me thinking about how I, and people in general define an interracial relationship. Someone commented on the recent “what does it mean to be colorblind” thread that they didn’t realize they were in an interracial relationship when they started dating an Indian man. I remember when I first started dating Saresh, the thought did not occur to me that I was in an interracial relationship either. I don’t think that came into play until I noticed Saresh sometimes uncomfortable with some people staring (which I was oblivious to until he pointed it out), but moreso after the issue of his parents not accepting our relationship primarily because of my race.

Why didn’t I think we were interracial? In fact, if you asked many of our friends, I don’t think they would say they ever thought of us as interracial, some of them having even made that statement: “I wouldn’t have classified you as interracial. You’re just Saresh and CBC.” I don’t know if that’s because we’re friends and they have a relationship with us, or if that’s because they really wouldn’t have classified it as an interracial relationship – probably a little of both. I do notice it with strangers though – the majority who seem not to notice anything different at all, and the others who just keep staring as if their mind can’t compute what they’re seeing (and the very rare stare of animosity).

My mother doesn’t think I’m in an interracial relationship. If you try to bring it up, she’ll just argue with you like you’ve lost your wits. I always remember her old logic to the argument that Saresh “looks Greek,” doesn’t seem Indian at all, and therefore we’re not interracial. In some ways, I’m not so sure she’s wrong. Which also got me thinking this time, if a white person married someone from Greece or say, Armenia – would that be classified as interracial? Intercultural definitely, but interracial? Are Greeks and Armenians considered to be white? I think my mom would say yes (a lot of people would) – I would have up until considering this question now, and now I have no idea, but if I had to give an answer I’d say yes. I think they would be classified as white under the Census, but I didn’t check, so not sure. Do Greeks and Armenians consider themselves white, and does that personal definition change depending on where they live – i.e. does a Greek American think of themselves as white versus a Greek living in Greece?

I had a teacher in High School that was Armenian. She belly danced for money on the side, and the boys were all fascinated with her. I don’t think anyone ever considered her anything other than white – I don’t think they ever considered race in regards to her at all (we were a predominantly white small town). Though she was born in Armenia, she had an American accent and taught all the social science, including American History.

And where and how does skin color play into the interracial equation? I would bet that most people would consider an American white person married to a Middle Eastern person an interracial relationship, even though an Armenian or even a Spaniard may have a darker skin color. In fact, being South Indian, Saresh is darker than many black people, and I think that the same people who don’t consider us interracial would consider my relationship interracial if Saresh was a light skinned black person. Is a Spaniard/American white relationship interracial? I think people consider Hispanic/white to be interracial, but I wonder if the same consideration is given to people of Spanish descent.

We used to hang out with this interracial couple (her – Filipino/Chinese; him – white). To my knowledge, they never faced any discrimination regarding their relationship, and both sets of parents never had any issues either. We always found it funny when the husband would talk about someone he knew that was black – we knew they were black because he felt compelled to mention it as if it mattered to the story, and he did it so weird. He would drop his voice down on the word “black” to a whisper, and then finish with the Seinfeld, “not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Clearly there was something wrong with it to him or he wouldn’t have felt compelled to qualify it every single time. So why would someone who was married to a “brown” person have issues with black people?

As the About.com article suggests at the end, I think we (Americans at least, but probably everyone) have a ranking system of acceptability, with white/black mixes being the least socially accepted and Asian/white being the most socially accepted. I think the old miscegenation laws that varied from state to state would attest to that, allowing for different races to marry in one state, which were prohibited in others (i.e. blacks and Asians could marry in one state, but not in another; whites and Asians okay in one but not in another). In that Colorblind comments thread, someone commented that a friend said they wouldn’t date a black, but when asked about Indians who are also “brown,” they didn’t have a problem because their parents never said anything about Indians. I don’t think that’s an uncommon view – I certainly never heard my parents ranting about Indians or Koreans or Japanese or Chinese.

I always thought race was color based, but I don’t believe it is. It’s clearly not genetics based. So much of our social views of a whole class of people make up an undercurrent that I believe is stronger than skin color. The skin color is just an easy tag – a way to not have to think that we may be discriminating against someone because of their culture, or to not have to admit that we’re making judgments about an entire culture that we really don’t know much about. I think I have more questions in this post than can reasonably be answered.